Duke Nukem Forever is under review here at e-AAGH.net, and it may be awhile before the review sees the light of day. Why, you ask? Because I’m not in to self-torture.

Duke's ego increased - who's surprised?

I’m not going to go into detail on what really irks me about this game (I’m going to cover that in a more informal manor on my blog). Instead, I’m going to list what’s going to postpone this review for the time being.

  • Tedious combat with waves of enemies. Serious Sam and Painkiller did this well –Duke does not
  • A main character I’d love to see die over and over. It may be more fun to find out how many ways I can kill Duke versus trying to beat the game
  • Pointless diversions.  The only reason to lift weights, play pinball and such is to raise your ego, which is your health bar.  If you want to live, you want to raise your max health, and the game makes doing this a dull, pointless process.
  • Glacial pace. I don’t want my hand held through a shooter, but don’t make me poke around aimlessly for protracted periods of time to draw out the playing time. The Half Life series should have put an end to this kind of pointless meandering. Apparently, Duke missed the memo.

In short, this review may be a while coming – I just wanted to give everyone a heads up.

Alphasim out.

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