Dota 2, Valve’s spin on the popular/controversial MOBA genre is nearing its full release, despite the fact that everyone who wants it is probably already playing it. I’ve been toying with the beta on and off since last March but laid off of it because it was giving me rage-quit fits. It was simply the most frustrating experience I’ve had as a gamer (barring maybe Battlefield 3) and I hadn’t even played against another person yet. The bots owned my ass over and over. Maybe, though, with the new tutorial system in place, it was my time. I could finally learn to enjoy Dota 2 the way I have League of Legends. Maybe.

Then again, maybe not.

Dota 2

Make that, probably. I played through the Dragon Knight tutorial which felt more like Warcraft 3 than it did a MOBA (oh, the irony), and then I bruised through the Sniper tutorial missions. I played a few rounds of the one-lane, two-tower matches against the Witch Doctor as the Death Prophet and Sniper and won handily each time. It was no contest, so I figured I was ready. I’d learned the controls, I was comfortable with them, now it was just a matter of putting my mind to beating the 5 on 5 tutorial match. I could do this.

Fifty minutes, zero kills and nine deaths later, I rage-quit again. I was significantly behind every other champion on the field in XP and gold, and was the only player on my side to die. Apparently beating down one passive bot isn’t the same surviving against five bots that actually want to hurt me. I guess I’m not cut out for Dota 2, for reasons I just don’t get. I last hit like a champ against the passive one-lane bot but it seems that the denial mechanic (where you can kill your own minions to prevent the other players from earning their XP) cost me dearly against the normal AI.

It looks like I’m going to stick with League of Legends for my MOBA fix after all.